Not sure if you should text your ex, crush, or friend? Use this practical guide and decision flowchart to get help fast—no second-guessing needed.
You’re staring at your phone. You’ve typed the message three different ways and deleted it just as many times. You’re asking the eternal question: Should I text them?
Whether it’s an ex, a new crush, or someone who’s been acting distant, sending that message can feel like walking into a minefield. But here’s the good news—you don’t have to overthink it alone.
But First Ask Yourself…
Before you send that text think about:
1. Are you expecting a specific response?
If you’re secretly hoping for validation, closure, or attention—they might not give it to you. No one can read your mind and know what you want. If you wouldn’t be okay with no reply or what you feel is the “wrong” answer, that’s a red flag.
2. Are you feeling impulsive?
Late-night loneliness, a drink or two, or a bad day can make texting seem urgent. If possible see if you can wait until tomorrow – or at least a few hours or until after your next meal. Don’t text while the emotional side of your brain is in charge or with low blood sugar. If you still feel it’s the right move, you’ll know it’s not just a reaction.
3. Is this someone who’s earned your vulnerability?
It’s easy to hand someone power with a quick “I miss you” or “Can we talk?” But have they shown they can handle it with care? Don’t send that text unless they demonstrate through both words and actions that you can trust them.
Some Basic Texting Rules:
✅ Send that text if:
- You have a clear reason and you’re okay with any outcome.
- It’s someone who has shown they respect your time and energy.
- You’re following up on something that was left open-ended.
🚫 Don’t send that text if:
- You’re feeling emotionally flooded or hoping they’ll “fix” your mood.
- It’s part of a pattern you’re trying to break.
- They’ve already shown they’re not responsive or kind.
Check out my free flowchart Should I Text Them? to help you decide. Download 🡇
Still Torn? That’s What I’m Here For.
If you’re still stuck in your head, you can always ask me directly. Send your situation confidentially, and I’ll help you sort it out—no judgment, just clarity quickly by text or email. Ask Mira now ➜ and get the help you need.
Search
Disclaimer
Ask Mira provides general advice and personal perspective based on life experience. This service is not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, medical, legal, or financial advice. All responses are intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional or expert guidance. By using this service, you acknowledge and accept these terms. Due to the personalized and digital nature of this service, all sales are final and non-refundable.